Editorial: I am a woman, and I have a right to be here.

 

You’ll rebel against everything – except maybe, misogyny.

I think it goes without saying that one of the core themes of punk, one of the only really unifying themes, is an attitude. What that rebellious attitude is actually against is as varied as the makers of the music and its fans. There are fights against war, against capitalism, against government, against every –ism available.

And yet… Punk is still brutally gendered.  We talk about a revolution, and we can’t fix ourselves.

I’m not talking about the lack of credit Riot Girls seem to get for some seriously amazing sounds and zines. I’m not talking about how Glitter Rock isn’t given credit as proto-punk, and how Vivian Westwood is pretty much forgotten in the discussion of people who shaped the Sex Pistols’ image. I’m not talking about how we can’t remember Siouxsie Sioux or any of the other great early female musicians from the 70’s and 80’s, except as second fiddle to The Clash. I don’t want to talk about the ratio of female:male artists today. That’s part of the problem, but it’s the easier problem to fix. It’s easy to write a review of L7 and say “I know, dude. This is good. You should like it.”

What’s a lot harder is to challenge a culture that mimics the greater American culture in terms of how it treats women. When someone has done an action their entire life, it’s very difficult to analyze that behavior in a way that is unbiased. American woman are, sadly, objectified in their daily lives.

There are entire PHd programs supporting this fact. Women are sold clothes that sexualize their bodies, cat-called and grabbed at by total strangers. As young women, our daughters are trained to believe that men can hurt you, and women must fight back to protect themselves from those who want to prey on available bodies by wearing less provocative clothing and never drinking in public. Women who buck traditional gender stereotypes in dress and behavior are told they are abnormal, they are “other”, they want to be men, and they are ugly.

At 14 a much older male fan tried to take my pants off me as I crowd surfed (buttons, belt and all) at a Bad Religion show. I was told it was no place for a girl. To quote the caveman, “What did you think was going to happen to you?” His reaction was the most upsetting part, in retrospect. The idea that demeaning a female fan for daring to attend a concert should have been expected only goes to highlight the prevalence of the mistreatment of women.

At 17 I was told if I wanted to remain in the floor area at a concert, I would need to open up a women’s only mosh pit. When I pointed out I was more than able to hold my own, my fellow fan replied “Fuck off, dyke.” The idea that sexuality can be used as an attack is an unfortunate shame of larger American culture I was surprised to see pervade punk ethics.

I had a radio show in college, where I played punk music at the un-godly hour of 3am. It was a labor of love, to say the least. I was told routinely by callers to talk less in between tracks so listeners wouldn’t realize I was a woman. The value of my hard work was, in their eyes, lessened by my gender.

I have been told multiple times (as an almost-30 adult) not to attend shows at venues because of their reputation; to show up as a lone woman would be “asking for it.” Whatever “It” may be is always implied. No one has ever explained “it” to me; the meaning of the term is something you just learn as a woman as early as you learn language. Throughout my life, when people find out my passion for music, my knowledge is tested. Saying I like a band always seems to pave the road for an inquisitorial squad.

These experiences are not just mine. Search amazon, google, message boards or youtube and you’ll find a small but vocal listing of books, film and articles about other women who have been mistreated in concert crowds. Most mistreatment of women goes unreported; if I tell my mom won’t let me go to shows anymore, no one will believe me, I won’t be included, I should have known better, it was somehow my fault, it won’t happen again, I don’t want to talk about it.

A woman can learn to play drums just as quickly as a man can, get a few friends together, and play in someone’s basement. The problem lies in getting women to want to play drums. If the environment of a show is so hostile towards females, only the most dedicated of women will struggle to force their way in. If you don’t treat women the same as men from the ground up, no one can be surprised when the musicians on stage are all male; realistically, no one is going to strive for the stage if they don’t also like standing in the crowd. Music isn’t inherently gendered; but the crowd can quickly make it so. If a woman at a concert has her chest grabbed by a total stranger, it’s a pretty logically assumption she will remember that feeling more so than how the opening act sounded.

Bands that create safe environments for female fans at their shows are labeled as somehow lesser-thans. To be female or female-friendly is to invite attack.

Yes, women still go to shows. However, female fans are more likely than male fans to travel in packs for safety, to stand in the back and not mosh, and to be heckled at the show. On numerous occasions, I have heard men tell women, without a touch of humor or irony, that the women were a fan of a band only because the singer/guitarist/drummer/didgeridoo-player was hot.

So what’s the point? The point is, as a group we’re not okay. This is a cancer in the scene. It’s not okay to routinely have an entire portion of the fan base get assaulted for daring to like music in public. And it’s not okay to expect women to travel with “safe” men to avoid assault. Women should be as safe as men are to travel alone.

While there have been strives towards gender equality in the world as a whole, has punk really gotten that much better since the 1970s? I think it’s fallen behind. It’s not enough for artist to tell fans to treat women with respect. It’s not enough for female artists to perform in bands where their gender isn’t a gimmick. It’s not enough for individual women to fight for their own personal inclusion. While women can and will fight for themselves, men need to step up and work to be more inclusive as well. 

I’m not asking for a special pass as a woman. I’m just demanding men stop assuming the worst of female fans, and keep their hands to themselves.



48 Comments

  1. ladyjojo
    ladyjojo7/19/2013 4:04 PM | Permalink

    I have to disagree, respectfully, with your methodology. So many victims of gender based violence feel shame, loneliness, and self-hatred for what was done to them. Literally, people kill themselves because others stopped talking about it. The rates of self-harm and suicide among people who have been assaulted are sky-high.

    Talking about it to complain isn’t very helpful, but talking to consider options to make things better is helpful. These problems are too ingrained to go away on their own. They need nudging.

    But yeah, treat others as you would yourself is always a good rule to live by. Unless your a masochist. That might not work well.

  2. ladyjojo
    ladyjojo7/19/2013 4:05 PM | Permalink

    Ya know, I think if it didn’t make you upset that would be really frightening.

    I agree with you totally about the “at a punk show” bit. People join subcultures to feel included because society at large has failed them. To then be excluded by the people you ran to when you were excluded is… depressing.

  3. shanegrayson
    shanegrayson7/19/2013 4:39 PM | Permalink

    Hi LadyJoJo! What an awesome and extremely well written article :)

    No Trigger wrote a song somewhat about this situation, “More to Offer”.

  4. ladyjojo
    ladyjojo7/19/2013 4:59 PM | Permalink

    oh, thanks!!!! I need to check that out

  5. theothernewestone
    TheOtherNewestOne7/19/2013 11:00 PM | Permalink

    Prepare yourself for a TL;DR post.

    I’ve always been incredibly angered by the attitude towards women in punk. Especially since there aren’t enough female punk bands playing these days. Then you take the ones out who you don’t like and the number of female punk bands you can listen to becomes, I think, abysmally small. The issue of sexual assault is one however, that while I’ve heard about online, and even from friends, I’ve never witnessed. A friend and I have, however, been groped at and rubbed, at local shows by ridiculously drunk late 30s-early 40s women and I can say from that experience that I sure as hell wouldn’t want to experience them going any further (it was mostly as Screeching Bottlerocket said, rubbing of my back and arms). Another small thing is, that while their is obvious behavior that is unacceptable, I have seen some women who brutally attack men at shows who come anywhere near them; as one girl did at an A Wilhelm Scream show. I was pogoing at a Dropkick Murphys show and accidentally stepped on a girl’s foot. She lost her shit at me. Again, some behavior is inexcusable, but the nature of punk rock means that going to a show will hurt. In fact, if it doesn’t, you’re probably doing it wrong. Just food for thought.

    I find it absolutely abhorrent that anyone could tell a woman to expect sexual assault at a concert, like that guy did to you (and I have heard it said myself). It reminds me of slut-shaming. Blaming the victim for conduct completely out of their control and telling them they can’t dress this way or go to that event because they’ll be raped. Punk was built on the idea of equality, of unity. Of making a place for people who have none. It is despicable that we would adhere to society’s misogynistic idea of what is and isn’t okay for women. Women are not fuck dolls. This is why I consider myself a feminist which is, as Rebecca West said; the radical notion that women are people. If we’re all here to just back the status quo, then I ask, what is the fucking point?

  6. theothernewestone
    TheOtherNewestOne7/19/2013 11:01 PM | Permalink

    Side note, I find it funny that I was just writing a (long-overdue) poem last night on this subject, that I’d been meaning to get to for quite a while.

  7. theothernewestone
    TheOtherNewestOne7/19/2013 11:05 PM | Permalink

    Lastly; another song to look at is Not Just Boys’ Fun by 7 Seconds. Primarily because it’s by fucking 7 Seconds.

  8. ladyjojo
    ladyjojo7/20/2013 5:46 AM | Permalink

    oh yea, you will get some bruises at a show.

    Just a few weeks ago I split my lip at a concert. A guy feel down in the pit, and I leaned over to get him. I didn’t see the guy coming at us with a beer bottle in his hand and… CRACK… my face was right at arm level. But I don’t really mind that- He hit me because my face got in his way, not because I was a woman. It was an equal-opportunity beer bottle smasher. Not every attack of a woman by a man is all about female bodies. Sometimes, it’s gender neutral.

    I think the girl who got stepped on was probably in a similar place- so hopped up on adrenaline and communal energy she would have ripped anyone who crossed her a new one. She didn’t look at you an say ” I want to take the agency away from his right to his own body. I am powerful”… sounds more like she said “WTF you stepped on my foot, asshole.” I’m all for accepting any gender identity can be an asshole. The woman who petted you though.. I’m sorry about that. That’s unacceptable.

    I do agree with your other point- some women are so afraid of getting hurt, from talk or past experiences, they blow up at men who have done nothing wrong, and merely stood near them. I feel bad for these women. No one should have to be so defensive… then again, I get why they are afraid. It’s not totally unfounded as a fear, even if their reaction isn’t the one I would promote.

    And yea, what is the point? If punk was birthed in a fit of anger over the majority society… why mimic all the darkest parts?

    TLDR, thank you :)

  9. jaystone
    jaystone7/20/2013 7:00 AM | Permalink

    Thanks for writing this. Great article. Perhaps I’m a tad sheltered, but I feel like I haven’t seen a whole lot in the way of misogynistic douchebaggery at punk shows in the Boston area. Don’t get me wrong, there is still plenty of frat boy douchebaggery to go around, but they tend to focus on each other. That said, I’m not a female, so I’ve got obvious blinders on. My wife doesn’t recall any blatant examples either. Metal shows, on the other hand…

  10. imaturmomzhouse

    I was being pushed (by a bunch of drunken frat boys) into a lady in front of me at a bad religion earlier this year and after it happened the first time i said I was sorry. I guess that wasn’t good enough because when it happened the second time she aggressively pushed me by my chest and told me to fuck off… Talk about unchecked aggression.

  11. ladyjojo
    ladyjojo7/22/2013 6:46 AM | Permalink

    Oh man, I hope so. I wasn’t sure if it was getting better, or if I was just desensitized to it.

  12. ladyjojo
    ladyjojo7/22/2013 6:49 AM | Permalink

    Metal shows are nuts.

    I think to some extent it’s a local scene to scene thing, as you pointed out. I’ve moved about 12 times in 10 years, and I can say some of the scenes are a lot nicer than others. Toronto was by far the kindest people I ever met, to the point where I was a little weirder out as to why strangers were being so nice! Festivals also seem worse than local shows- I guess the giant crowd gives anonymity, and the feeling of being able to get away with more.

  13. jessay
    jessay11/16/2013 9:00 AM | Permalink

    Hi, there doesn’t seem to be a way to private message on this site and no identifying info to figure out to reach you with some questions. I’d really like to talk to you about potentially interviewing you for a documentary I’m working on. If you’d like to talk and exchange emails so we can have a conversation about that possibility, please dm me on twitter (@jessy) or message me on tumblr (un: moneymud), whichever platform you use, if any, or let me know what a better way to reach you would be. I don’t really want to put my email up here. If you do contact me, please reply to this letting me know when so I can weed out anyone who may pretend to be you or something weird like that. Thanks, I hope to hear from you because your viewpoint and story are very compelling and important.

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