Against Me! lyrics pointing toward Tom Gabel’s gender dysphoria

I don’t know about you but when Tom Gabel of Against Me! came out to the world about being (becoming?) a transgender I was shocked.  After reading the news I looked up from my computer screen, stared off into space and proclaimed out loud to no one in particular, “I did not see that one coming.”  But maybe I should have.  And maybe a lot of you already did.  If you read enough Against Me! lyrics Gabel certainly left us enough clues.

We want to make it clear that here at Dying Scene, we have nothing but respect and admiration for the courage this announcement undoubtedly took on Gabel’s behalf. This article is based on our own readings of the lyrics, and are therefore subject to being full of shit. But with that said; here are just a few examples of Against Me! lyrics that we think point toward Tom Gabel’s battle with gender dysphoria.  Let us know in the comments if you’ve found others.

“Bamboo Bones” off 2011’s “White Crosses”

The subject matter of this song may be a bit vague but the sentiment and emotion seem to draw an easy connection between the lyrics and Gabel’s recent decision to take matters of his own gender into his own hands.

“What God doesn’t give to you
You’ve got to go and get for yourself”

“The Ocean” off 2007’s New Wave album

This is undisputedly the most forthright example of Gabel’s not-so-secret-anymore desires.  I remember listening to this song and thinking… “Well, that was a little odd.” After hearing the news I had my own little “ah ha” moment and now I like the song a lot more, knowing how intensely personal the lyrics are.  I mean, he even prophesizes the new name he would eventually take on as Laura Jane Grace.

“If I could have chosen, I would have been born a woman
My mother once told me she would have named me Laura
I would grow up to be strong and beautiful like her
One day, I’d find an honest man to make my husband
We would have two children, build our home on the Gulf of Mexico
Our family would spend hot summer days at the beach together
The sun would kiss our skin as we played in the sand and water
And we would know we loved each other without having to say it
At night, we would sleep with the windows of our house left open
Letting the cool ocean air soothe the sunburned shoulders of our children”

“Searching For A Former Clarity” off  2005’s album “Searching For A Former Clarity”

Through the use of third party narrative this song approaches the topic a bit more subtly.

“But you knew all along,
went on pretending nothing was wrong,
you said I will keep my focus, till the end.
And in the journal you kept, by the side of your bed.
You wrote nightly in aspiration, of developing as an author.
Confessing childhood secrets, of dressing up in women’s clothes,
Compulsions you never knew the reasons to”

“Violence” off 2005’s album “Searching For A Former Clarity”

Gabel discusses the fear of discovery here; the discovery of what being less a mystery now.

“And we’ll watch the light, coming under the door.
Listen for footsteps coming down the hall.
Are you gonna wake up screaming through a slit throat?
Young flesh searing on a twin mattress.
But it doesn’t have to be, the way things end.
We don’t have to give up just yet.”

“Disco Before the Breakdown” off the 2002 EP “Disco Before the Breakdown”

Reaching back a bit further into the band’s discography Gabel alludes to his secrets albeit much more cautiously.

“If you follow the jaw line down over the heart,
the curves of your bone and muscle that make up your head to toe…
It’s just skin and thread, stitches and ligaments,
words that we spoke only to regret.

And I know they’re going to laugh at us
when they, when they see us out together “holding hands” like this.
They wouldn’t understand it if we told them all the reasons,
not that I think this deserves any kind of explanation.

And we’ll, we’ll make it up so we’ve got a smile painted on all the time,
no matter what it’s like on the inside.
We’ll keep this, keep us like a secret,
cause if my family and friends ever found out about
the things we could never be,
haunts we’ll all keep, so fucking bittersweet.”

“Transgender Dysphoria Blues” (Unreleased Acoustic) 2012

This song has only recently come out of the woodwork, but is obviously Gabel at his most bold in terms of confronting his gender confusion through song.

“Your tells are so obvious.
Shoulders too broad for a girl.
Keeps you reminded.
Helps you remember where you come from.
You want them to notice
the ragged ends of your summer dress
You want them to see you like they see every other girl.
They just see a faggot.”