It’s Halloween. Fuck yeah. The one thing stopping the horrors of Christmas sliding into Summer and taking over the whole year.

We need to keep Halloween sacred. And I don’t mean in a mispronouncing Samhain kinda manner (it’s pronounced ‘Samhain’, by the way). I mean in the kinda way where we lean hard into the sleaze and sluttiness and fun and excuses to dress how we normally dress but without needing that excuse and fuck that’s an awful sentence but fuck you I’m full of the joys of Halloween so grammar and comprehensibility rules are now suspended alongside the rules about not wearing spooky contact lenses and fake (though convincing) fangs and letting your fingernails grow into claws (except of course *those* ones if you’re in a relationship with a lady because you gotta be a bit considerate still ya know).

Shit.

Where was I?

Oh yeah. Halloween. It’s fucking awesome. And Horrorpunk and vaguely adjacent genres are fucking awesome too.

Except that’s not just the Misfits. This year, fuck the Misfits. You’re not getting any Misfits on my Halloween Horrors playlist because fuck you and fuck them and this is my Top 13 list so I can have what I want on it and this year I don’t want no steenkin Misfits.

Onwards, then.

Well, Dwayne Dibley the lead singer of Sum 41 came back from the dead recently, even though this isn’t him singing, but fuck it, let’s start here. Oh, wait. Dwayne Dibley was the Cat from Red Dwarf? Who the fuck sang in Sum 41 then? Meh. That guy. He’s cool and now one of the un-undead.

I haven’t seen this film but I love this song. And yeah, okay, it kinda steals from the Mistits. I mean Misfits. I mean mmm…tits… goddamn it my misogynist guilt syndrome is kicking in, but the one place where gratuitous nudity and skimpy clothing is allowed, nah expected, is in horror films, and I got no trouble at all if anyone wants to redress the gender balance there with some boys bits and stuff. The thumbnail here was just unexpected and I’m writing drunk again, mkay?

I love Zombina. She’s just really sweet and kind and lovely as a person, but when it comes to horror, she just gets it and understands in a deep and profound way. And she gave me a free t-shirt, so I hope she gets some sort of monetisation from me sending a little traffic her way from this.

No, you can’t have Misfits, but this is sorta channeling Danzig. Kinda.

John Carpenter’s a legend of Halloween music. Because he wrote that di dee diii dee diii diii theme from Halloween and made some awesome scary films too.

But, ya know, I reckon this is actually his best tune.

Why aren’t Creeper one of your favourite bands yet? Baphomedammit they should be. They’re just getting better and better.

And okay, even though I said ‘no feckin’ Misfits’ I’m having to reference them a lot, because I need to tell you that Creeper are what happens when someone’s Dad’s just got some early Misfits and Bat Out Of Hell on cassette in the car and they were brought up on that. They’ve got some Jim Steinman grandeur lurking in their Groovy Ghoulies tendencies and you should be fucking here for it.

And they’re nice kids too. I hope they make it big. I think they will. They’re nearly there.

No notes. You’ll like this one.

Yeah, yeah, I know… the Dickies… but I wanted to send the guys that did this cover some traffic as I think the Dickies are probably doing okay.

You know that meme of Vlad the Impaler discovering marshmallows and putting sticks though them and going ‘well these are fucking great’.

That’s how I felt when I heard this.

Bloodsucking Zombies from Outer Space are so fucking all in on the horror punk psychobilly thing that you’ve just gotta give them some cred for it. Just listen to this fucking song. They’re not messing about. They really mean it. This is how you do it.

Maybe this is as far from punk as it gets, but it’s the most beautiful piece of music from one of the most wonderful movies and this is my list.

Some people don’t like Ghost out of a weird sense of metal elitism or shit like that. Fuck those guys with a spoon. Ghost are awesome. Zombie pope sax solo. How can you not love that?

And talking of sax solos…

Oh, fuck you, YouTube. Why the hell is this age-restricted? WTF?

Anyway – this song also isn’t punk, but it’s kinda linked with the Lost Boys, which was a fucking groundbreaking film as the punk-rock vampires were pretty iconoclastic in an era that was really only just emerging from Christopher Lee and Bela Lugosi as gothic drama queens.

What’s this song got to do with the Lost Boys? Ha. Well, there’s a cartoon bit to start with that sorta goes there, but just wait… wait for it… wait for it… awww yisssss there it is..!!!

I’m a straight guy, but no one wobbles my Kinsey Scale like the sexy sax guy from the Lost Boys, and here he fucking is doing his thing. Total respect to Gunship for thinking… huh… wouldn’t it be cool if we had that guy in one of our videos? Wait… um… why don’t we just email him and see if he’s up for it? And respect to Tim Capello for doing it.

Here’s a remix, just in case you can’t watch the original due to the stupid age-restriction thing. Though… I mean… it’s not like this version isn’t all about the boobage too, but hey – it DOES redress the gender gaze issue a bit as there’s some guy stuff going on there as well. Nice.

BZFOS again. Damn, this is good. C’mon, no, I mean this is REALLY good. This needs to be on shitty compilation CDs you give your Dad for his birthday (are those still a thing?) It’s that good.

I’m running out of shit to say now. I just like these guys. And they’re pretty Halloween.

I just wanna point out that the main chord progression in this is actually exactly the same as Reel Big Fish’s Beer and The Offspring’s Self-Esteem and a Blink 182 song whose name I can’t remember right now too, and I was just referencing it as a classic when I wrote that song that you guys probably will never hear anyway and NOT just ripping this off. That AmFCG thing just works, okay. It’s not stealing.

Ah. Yes. Well. I can kinda see why YouTube might censor this one.

This is fucking sexy werewolf sex music. And there was a whole issue of Phonogram written around it by Kieron Gillen in his indie comic days that was smeggin’ wonderful.

What’s the scariest thing you can think of that can live inside your pants? This is a song about that. Pubic lice scare the crap outta me, anyway. Eh, we’re off the horror punk even more now, I suppose, but fuck you. My list. I reckon this is kinda punk rock though, in its way.

Look. It says Frankenstein, okay. That’s gothic horror, even though this is an utter banger of a dance track. If you came to my Halloween Club Night, I’d be sure as hell playing this. I mean… just fucking check it out. Listen to the state of that. Hold this tune in your head and close your eyes and just swim in how it makes you feel.

I didn’t actually know this was a cover of a Death Cab for Cutie song. I just listened to the original and I reckon they All Along The Watchtower-ed it.

From Dusk Till Dawn is a masterclass in how to be a badass and DGAFing. I fuckin’ DREAM of opening a bar like that and having all that fire and rock ‘n roll and Cheech Marin as the barker at the door being vile and hilarious.

This is the choon from that, and the dude here is also showing how to be a badass.

This is from a kids’ tv show. But you know what? It’s a fuckin’ choon and legit. Respect the Aquabats.

More Creeper. Because.

More Zombina. Because.

Ah. Right then. Pussycat. Pussycat and the Dirty Johnsons should also be fucking huge.

I’d go into the history of Pussycat and how she was created when a teleportation experiment that also involved dark magick went wrong and a cat went into the transportrification matrix instead of the intended pilot but long story short, WHY THE FUCK AREN’T THERE MORE PEOPLE THAT HAVE SHITLOADS OF TALENT AND JUST DECIDE TO FORM A BAND AND DO MAD CREATIVE SHIT EVEN THOUGH THEY’RE A TINY CAT PERSON?!!

My dudes, it’s getting late and my hyperfocus is wearing off now, but I like these guys. They do horror punk good. Yes.

If you’re of a certain age and British, this was a formative moment. If you know, you know.

I have no fucking clue what’s going on with this band and this song, but it’s like… evil fucking screaming black metal… but… damn… that’s melodic…

Yeah, you fucking need Jesus. Or something. I’d make a joke about a Mexican dude called Jésus but I’m not sure I know how to do that without risking some accidental stereotyping because I don’t really know a lot about Mexico except I imagine it’s all kinda like From Dusk Till Dawn.

Well, I said no Misfits, but I lied. Kinda. This is my band. The big dude playing guitar is me. So here’s me playing you some Misfits.

This is also me. And I’m including this as it’s about a baby werewolf and I’m kinda proud of the song, and I think it was the only time it was ever played live, and we didn’t record it properly and the band didn’t go anywhere for reasons.

Look, I’m not making any money out of this, as it’s not even monetised on YouTube or on sale anywhere either, so fuck it. Enjoy.

And Happy Halloween. I wish you a spooky and sexy one.